All the things I killed in 2011
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
Lately I have seen so many blog posts about “Best <insert here> of 2011”. Best books, best games, key events that happened in 2011 to remember. Either that or it’s predictions about the world; I can certainly predict more death and destruction if that’s any help. My summary of 2011 is all about how many take downs I have done and I have done so many. Suffice it to say, I did not have time to record all kills (I really should keep a kill journal) but here are some memorable moments for last year in no particular order.
Elder Scrolls: Skyrim. This springs to mind at first instance because it does actually keep a count of how many people you have murdered during your adventures. At the moment of writing, I have slaughtered 949 people, 358 animals and 12 bunnies. 880 of those were sneak attacks, I’m not about to let you know you are about to die am I?
Deus Ex: Human Revolution. The tough silent type, Adam Jensen is the best there is in the killing department. Security bots can be a pain to take down but all those poor Spec Ops soldiers stood no chance against a snipe or Typhoon ordnance in the face.
Shogun 2: Total War and Civilization V. I bundled these two together because to be perfectly honest the kill count here is in the thousands and if you are a warlord like me then reaching the millions. Entire clans and civilisations got wiped off the face of the Earth; I did not like those Christian heretics on our sacred lands so they were first on my list. And no Happy New Years for Gandhi either, I dropped a nuke on Delhi.
Borderlands. Skaag down! At one point there were so many Skaags and other alien life forms that I actually ran out of ammunition, on all of the guns I was carrying. And believe me when I say I was carrying enough ammunition to destroy the population of Slough. If you are a Brit, you will understand why I chose this town in my example.
Resident Evil 5. Those blasted Lickers, good grief. You would think multiple shogun wounds to the cranium would do the trick but oh nooooo they just keep coming. Dagger fights against such things can be a bit, life threatening.
StarCraft 2. For the Swarm, everyone must die. Kerrigan doesn’t let anybody live, that would just be very unswarm like. Protoss Zealots for dinner or maybe Terran stew?
Left4Dead 2. Zombies, more zombies and yes you guessed it more zombies. I particularly hate Tanks and Chargers. For the ultimate killing spree, I suggest the Helms Deep map in Survival mode. As you approach the halfway mark, it gets ridiculous. Screams of “WHERE THE HELL IS GANDALF” happens very frequently.
Mass Effect 1 and 2. For the past two weeks, I have been going through these back to back. I would say the Husks are definitely the ones I loved killing; insanely annoying at critical moments. Upon reflection, I saved the galaxy from the Reapers but the number of people I had to kill to get there was borderline genocide. I also shot some civilians as well, such as that scientist I forgot the name. Kill and move on.
And finally…
Portal 2. I add this because I killed myself on many occasions. Too much testing is bad for one’s health. But there is always cake.
P.S: Can I just say that the only reason the Mayan calendar stops towards the end of 2012 is not that they predicted the end of world. It is most likely they either ran out of room in their calendar and couldn’t be bothered to chisel another stone tablet, or the guy responsible for compiling the calendar was too lazy to keep going and went to make a cup of tea.
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